||[13 Jun 2004|02:35am]
The next post I make should be to direct all you cool kids to my new journal... so prepare yourselves. Lol. To hold you over until then, here's a little survey (or as Katie and me call them, an interview...)> Enjoy, suckahs. And COMMENT.
+ 001. name: Jacob
+ 002. nicknames: Jake, Jakobi, Jakobi Raul Clarkson, Jailbait, Whore, Idiot
+ 003. sex: Male
+ 004. birthday: June 25, 1987
+ 005. age: 16
+ 006. bestfriends: [in no order] Katie, Annie, Michael W., Tyler, Jake C[ollier], Sammie-D
+ 007. place of birth: Somewhere in Indiana
+ 008. current residence: Anderson, Indiana (soon to be Pendleton)
+ 009. hair color: currently dirrty-blonde, about to be dark brown with crimson highlights
+ 010. eye color: Blue
+ 011. height: 6'
____BODY iLLS + SKiLLS
+ 014. do you bite your nails : Nope
+ 015. can you roll your tongue: Nope, but what good is that anyways?
+ 016. can you raise one eyebrow at a time: Kinda
+ 017. can you blow smoke rings: Well, see... that would require me to be smoking... which doesn't happen.
+ 018. can you blow spit bubbles: Who can't?
+ 019. can you cross your eyes: yup yuppity yup yup
+ 020. can you flip your eyelids out: Ew! no...
+ 021. tattoos and where: Not yet...
+ 022. piercings and where: None yet... about to get both ears my left cartlidge
+ 023. do you make your bed daily: Oh, of course!
+ 024. what goes on first, bra or underwear: Hmm...
+ 025. which shoe goes on first: Whichever one I get to first. I wear flip-flops, anyways.
+ 036. speaking of shoes, have you thrown one at someone: I threw one at Matthew yesterday... haha.
+ 037. how much money is usually in your wallet: Excuse me as I laugh hysterically...
+ 038. what jewelry do you wear 24/7: My gay sparkly bracelets
+ 039. whats sexiest on a guy: Eyes, smile, personality, sense of humor, body
+ 040. whats sexiest on a gurl: Well... I'm no judge... but boobies so rawk.
+ 041. would you rather be on time and look ok or late and look great: Let's go with Joseph's answer and say both...
+ 042. do you twirl your spagetti or cut it: Twirl
+ 043. how many cereals are in your cabinet: around 2
+ 044. what utensils do you use eating pizza: Hands...
+ 045. do you cook: Yup...
+ 046. how often do you brush your teeth: Twice a day
+ 047. how often do you shower/bathe: Every morning or night... depending on how busy I am or what I've been doing
+ 048. how long do these showers last: 20-30 minutes
+ 049. hair drying method: Towel dry until it's damp and let it air dry the rest of the way
+ 050. do you paint your nails: Of course! lol...
+ 051. do you swear: Fuck, no.
+ 052. do you spit or swallow: Swallow, bebeh.
+ 053. do you spit in public: Sometimes... lol
+ 054. do you pee in the shower: Once or twice... i mean, hello? who hasn't... you get in and you have to go... I ain't gonna get out and go all the way to the toilet and maybe slip on the tile and crack my head open when there's a pipe leading to the SAME Place right in front of me!
____iN + AROUND
+ 055. the cd player: My new mix... Currently playing Mandy Moore "What You Want (Girl of Your Fantasy)"
+ 056. person you talk most on the phone with in the past week: Katrinalee Noodlespoon
+ 057. what color is your bedroom: Well, the one I'm in now is white... but my new one will be in blacks, silver, and blues
+ 058. do you use an alarm clock: If I want to get up at a certain time
+ 059. name one thing you're obsessed with: Music
+ 060. have you ever skinny dipped with the opposite sex: Lol, no...
+ 061. ever sunbathed in the nude: I go tanning nekked... does that count? lol
+ 062. window seat or aisle: Window
+ 063. whats your sleeping position: On my side with one hand under the pillow. Me and Joey have discussed that we sleep the same, lol...
+ 064. what kind of bed do you like: Big and warm, with Joey in it! ;-)
+ 065. in hot weather do you use a blanket: I don't even use one in cold weather...
+ 066. do you snore: Nope...
+ 067. do you sleepwalk: Not that I know of
+ 068. do you talk in your sleep: Nobody's ever told me I do
+ 069. do you sleep with a stuffed animal: lol, no... I'm not KATIE! haha
+ 070. how about the light on: What would be the point?
+ 071. do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on: Usually radio... sometime I'll fall asleep watching TV
____WHEN WAS THE LAST TiME YOU
+ 072. had sex: Honestly? Last Thursday. :-/
+ 073. were kissed or kissed someone: Last Thursday.
+ 074. watched bambi: I have NEVER seen that whole movie
+ 075. cried: Uhm... last Tuesday
+ 076. talked on the phone: Around 11.40
+ 077. read a book: Just finished "Everything's Eventual" by Stephen King today and started "Pet Semetary" for the 3rd time...
+ 078. punched someone: Never...
+ 079. where do you see yourself in 10 years: Famous for something, or very sucessful and well-known in my field of work at least, with someone I love, still best-friends with Katie and Annie-Leigh
+ 080. how many kids do you want to have: 2
+ 081. your profession: Songwriting, Writing in general, recording artist, Fashion Supersomething (Ryan Haverhill!; PRIDE.outfitters)
+ 082. future school: Well, somewhere in NY or SoCal is my hopes...
Oh... yes. It must be mentioned that I stole this from Joey. Much love. <3
Whatever It Takes
||[01 Jun 2004|03:40pm]
You know what, Katie? You're right. I'm sorry I've been so annoying and stupid about everything lately. You and Anna really put things into perspective for me [in totally different ways]. For one thing, I'm just going to stop being around him so much. I'm just going to move on... and when I think about how he's been treating me lately, it isn't actually going to be that hard to do. This is kind of like how Richard must have felt after I dumped him, except I didn't use the fact that he wanted me back for my own amusement. I just let him go. Michael's a good guy, but what he's doing isn't right. But, whatever.
Anyways... I thought of like 20,000 songs today that sum up how I'm currently feeling about all kinds of stuff (Not just the breakup...) and I condensed it into a mix. It's a really good mix (one of my best, if I do say so myself, lol), and if anyone out there is stinging from being dumped, liking someone (A LOT) who might not like you back, or just being really horny and having no release (lol)... this mix is for you.
Mega-Mix 4: MIXed Emotions: The Reason
1. The Reason- Hoobastank
2. Bombastic Love- Britney Spears
3. Stuck- Stacie Orrico
4. Caught In the Middle- A1
5. Moving On- Toya
6. With or Without You- A*Teens
7. Ghost of a Good Thing- Dashboard Confessional
8. Disappear- Hoobastank
9. More to Life- Stacie Orrico
10. Hit ‘Em Up Style… Oops!- Blu Cantrell
11. Special- Garbage
12. What Happened to Us- Hoobastank
13. Accidentally In Love- Counting Crows
14. You’re So Vain- Carly Simon
15. Son of a Gun- Janet Jackson
16. Breathe On Me [Extended Mix]- Britney Spears
17. All Nite (Don’t Stop)- Janet Jackson
18. Intervention Divine- Kaci
19. I Do- Toya
20. Singled Out- A*Teens
21. Butterflies Don’t Lie- Kaci
22. Everytime- Britney Spears
23. Holding Out for a Hero- Jennifer Saunders
So... yeah. Listen to those songs or look at the lyrics and you'll know how I'm feeling right now.
I gotta go study... I'll check in whichy'all later.
3 Make It Through | Whatever It Takes
||[31 May 2004|09:45pm]
I can't take it
What am I waiting for?
My heart's still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
Today was definitely one of the worst days I've had in awhile.
Anna's right... we're seeing a side of Michael we don't like. And if it is his true colors, maybe I should stop hanging out with or seeing him. Yeah, right. Just... God... why the hell do I have to be so fucking hung up on him?
I seriously cannot get over him, no matter how hard I try. I mean... I've tried... I really, really, really have. It doesn't work. And he just makes it worse by treating me like he does now, because it makes me feel like no matter what- he'll always have control of me. And I kind of like it that way. But I need to stop letting him get to me or... something. God, I'm just so confused.
My main question right now is... what did I do so wrong? I mean, one day we're fine and perfectly happy. The next... it's over. What is it about me that suddenly repels him? Am I hidiously ugly or annoying or too childish or immature? My next question is... does he still like me at all? I mean... Christ. Anything with him right now would be fine. A Brian/Justin relationship is perfectly acceptable. If it means I can touch him and be with him and kiss him or even fucking hold his hand again... then I'm up for it. I just don't know what to do. Seriously. A person's teen years aren't supposed to be this hard.
I normally don't spill my feelings like this. I tend to put up a facade and illusion of constant happiness... but I had to get it out somewhere.
On top of everything else, I have finals all week, starting tomorrow. I haven't even started studying. When did my life turn into an episode of Degrassi?
The new journal is almost done... I'll post it soon.
I hate you, but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
I don't know what to do
I'm stuck on you...
2 Make It Through | Whatever It Takes
||[29 May 2004|06:51pm]
Why can't you see?
You're the only one for me...
Wow. Wow. and... uhm, yeah... wow. How the hell long has it been? March? Again, wow.
Uhm... just letting everyone know that I'm still alive. I'm out of my old house and currently living with my grandmother. I'm totally out to my parents. I have finals next week. I've went out with and been dumped by a boy. All since I last updated. It's crazy how much shit can happen in so little a time.
Anywho, Just wanted to say that I'm currently working on a new journal. New username and everything. I'll post once it's done.
What happened to Kristen? She kinda... died?
I have the biggest pathetic celebrity-crush on Adamo Ruggiero. <3333
I also have a huge real-life crush on J.C. [Not Joey... lol]
Also, Andrea Lewis [Hazel on Degrassi] is such a sweetheart. If anyone wants her AIM name, lemme know... it's real, I promise.
So, yes people. Keep living and I'll start updating once summer arrives.
New episodes of Degrassi start June 4. DON'T FORGET, LOSERS. ;-)
Peace out. [Peace out? Loser.]
...and it just tears my ass apart
To know that you don't know my name
12 Make It Through | Whatever It Takes